Friday, January 16, 2009

The gorgeous Megan Gale & Miranda Kerr, and the boringly bland Jennifer Hawkins!

Apparently the battle between Myer and David Jones is still ongoing. So is the battle between Megan Gale/Miranda Kerr, and Jennifer Hawkins. So read on and guess who I know wins hands down anyday, anytime.

I absolutely love, love, love Megan Gale. She's gorgeous, hot, intelligent, amazing, tall and willowy. I love her dark hair and big bright eyes. I'd love to be her, but alas, I am not. And I don't wanna date Andy Lee. I prefer Hamish ;)

Miranda Kerr is adorably cute and gorgeous, not as much as Megan, looks fab in a bikini, and is hot for Orlando Bloom. Which a lot of girls are, but while I don't mind Orlando, I'm not hot for him.

I am so hot for gorgeous brunettes!

And then there's Jennifer Hawkins. Fake blonde hair, fake blonde tan, and hey, talks like a man!

I absolutely hate Jennifer Gawkins. She's all about the ''hey,hey, look at me'' and I can't stand that. I can't stand any blonde who dyes her hair that boringly fake blonde, then has to match her boringly fake tan to it. And to top the look off, they slather boringly blah makeup and lippy on, making them look completely bland, boring, and blending into the background. They're all the same colour.

''Boringly Bland Blonde''

Not to mention Jennifer's hair and style. Jesus, five year olds have that middle part, not ''supposedly mature women.'' And seriously, Jennifer, try brushing it once in awhile, and maybe get a cut that suits your face, instead of letting it hang like an unbrushed, dirty, straggly heap of rats tails around your face. Geez, hide behind it much? Get it cleaned, dyed, brushed and side parted, and hey, I might actually think no more of you than I do now. Which isn't much.

I'm soooo sick of seeing you on the cover, and between, in magazines, and I thank God I don't shop at Myer anymore, cause with them having to pay you a million dollars to look like shit, I couldn't afford it anyway. And besides, I don't want to look like you.

Just another boringly bland blonde!!!!!

Maybe I just hate blondes in general. The obviously fake ones that is. If you're a blonde and you're intelligent, assertive, forward thinking and doing, and can carry a conversation without giggling like an idiot, then great.

If not ... piss off.

That's why I hate most blondes. They make the ''stereotype'' of dumb blonde. They can't string a sentence together without giggling, and they certainly can't carry a conversation. They ''act dumb''. If it's acting! Hell, they could be like that from birth. With the inane inability to speak and act like a human being.

If you blondes want to be treated seriously, then stop acting like morons. Stop giggling, stop flirting, stop being an idiot. Speak and act like you actually have a brain in your head, and an idea of what you're talking about. And for those other ''famous blondes'' ie: Kylie Minogue, Natalie Bassingthwaighte, Nicole Kidman (I know, she's a natural redhead, but she's been blonde for years), and any others out there that I can't be bothered thinking of, everytime a reporter asks you a question you don't want to answer, instead of giggling like an infected twit, please, please, just say ''no comment''. Or even, ''I'm not discussing that.''

That's all you have to do, not act like a moronic, ''I'm just so blonde and living up to the stereotype'' piece of rotting dog crap, that sits there with an even bigger dickhead look on your face that REALLY shows us there's absolutely not one miniscule piece of brain in your empty bubble head.

Hell, even Barbie has a million and one careers, so that bubble head is sooooo much smarter than the real life ones.

And I love Barbie. At least she was also a brunette and a redhead!

Well, that's enough about bubble headed blondes. While my gorgeously gorgeous husband is working, I'm off to spend a raunchy weekend with my hot Italian lover Carmine. And I can't wait to run my horny little fingers through the golden brown nest of hair on his very manly, muscly chest.

Love Jewels
xxoo


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