Ellen DeGeneres - ca, ca, ca!!!

What the hell does that even mean anyway. Ca, ca, ca???

I quite like Ellen. She's not overbearing like Oprah, who thinks because it's her show that she can interrupt the guest to talk about herself. I'm sick of hearing Oprah talk about herself.

Boring!!!!

Ellen doesn't do that through the show. She'll mention things in her intro, but barely have I heard her talk about herself during the the show. That's refreshing. I'm so sick of hosts who just wan't to listen to the sound of their own voice, over the guest's. There may as well be no guests in that case. The host may as well sit there for the duration and talk about themselves. Don't bother booking people to appear, just sit and bore us to death with shit about yourselves.

No thanks. I'll take Ellen over Oprah and the idiots on The View anyday. Ellen actually is funny!!!

Suck on that Oprah!!!

And I'll suck on my Mikey!!!!!!!

Love Jewels.
xxoo

Summer viewing is coming to an end!

9am with David ''Spunk Rat' Reyne and Kim ''pain in the arse'' Watkins, is back on channel 10. Finally, summer tv viewing is coming to an end with shows starting to pop up on each network.

I love Big Dave Reyne. As I've mentioned previously, he's a spunk rat. He was a spunk rat in the Chantoozies, and he's a spunk rat now. If only Kim would learn to stop being a picky bitch and leave him alone.

Me thinks it's a case of jealousy.

David's been around a lot longer, and done a lot more things, and Kimmy's been stuck on home soil tv and having kids. Not much of a life Kimmy, since your nitpicking David all the time for what he's done over the years.

You obviously weren't a Chantoozies fan!!!!!!

I was!

Luv ya Big Dave

By the way, completely agree about mobile phones. Who the hell needs all those gadgets anyway? Besides James Bond! And I prefer Pierce Brosnan over the others!

Love Jewels xxoo

Kyle and Jackie O are back in action!

Why??????????????

It's not like anyone wants you back! In fact, we could all do without you.

Kyle, the shit out of your mouth is as big as your head. And that's huge as we all know.

And Jackie, your insecurities get the better of you and we really don't want to hear about them. REALLY!!!!!!

God only knows why you two are still here, but at least we all have the option of turning off.

Thank God for that!!!!!!

Love Jewels
xxoo

Hamish and Andy are back on radio!!!!!

But having Tom bloody Cruise as your first guest is a bloody horrible idea. I don't like Tom Cruise. Never have, never will. He's an absolute moron at the best of times, and the worst of times, and for God's sake, he jumps on couches!

Even Oprah wasn't happy with that, and it was her couch!

Seriously boys, couldn't you have had someone else on?

Like Human Nature!

I know they were on last year, and you had them doing Dizzy Rascal's, Dance Wiv Me, which was freakin fantastic, or even have Megan Gale on, she's freakin fantastic too. But Tom Bloody Cruise?????

Ugh, God give me strength.

I love you boys, and I will readily admit I have a crush on you Hamish, but then so did my gorgeous husband Michael when he was out here 2 years ago. The two of you appeared on Rove together, I've posted a pic below, and since I have a massive crush on him, I guess that makes it crush by association.

Even though you're off to a VERY bad start, welcome back!

Love yas,
Jewels xxoo

The gorgeous Megan Gale & Miranda Kerr, and the boringly bland Jennifer Hawkins!

Apparently the battle between Myer and David Jones is still ongoing. So is the battle between Megan Gale/Miranda Kerr, and Jennifer Hawkins. So read on and guess who I know wins hands down anyday, anytime.

I absolutely love, love, love Megan Gale. She's gorgeous, hot, intelligent, amazing, tall and willowy. I love her dark hair and big bright eyes. I'd love to be her, but alas, I am not. And I don't wanna date Andy Lee. I prefer Hamish ;)

Miranda Kerr is adorably cute and gorgeous, not as much as Megan, looks fab in a bikini, and is hot for Orlando Bloom. Which a lot of girls are, but while I don't mind Orlando, I'm not hot for him.

I am so hot for gorgeous brunettes!

And then there's Jennifer Hawkins. Fake blonde hair, fake blonde tan, and hey, talks like a man!

I absolutely hate Jennifer Gawkins. She's all about the ''hey,hey, look at me'' and I can't stand that. I can't stand any blonde who dyes her hair that boringly fake blonde, then has to match her boringly fake tan to it. And to top the look off, they slather boringly blah makeup and lippy on, making them look completely bland, boring, and blending into the background. They're all the same colour.

''Boringly Bland Blonde''

Not to mention Jennifer's hair and style. Jesus, five year olds have that middle part, not ''supposedly mature women.'' And seriously, Jennifer, try brushing it once in awhile, and maybe get a cut that suits your face, instead of letting it hang like an unbrushed, dirty, straggly heap of rats tails around your face. Geez, hide behind it much? Get it cleaned, dyed, brushed and side parted, and hey, I might actually think no more of you than I do now. Which isn't much.

I'm soooo sick of seeing you on the cover, and between, in magazines, and I thank God I don't shop at Myer anymore, cause with them having to pay you a million dollars to look like shit, I couldn't afford it anyway. And besides, I don't want to look like you.

Just another boringly bland blonde!!!!!

Maybe I just hate blondes in general. The obviously fake ones that is. If you're a blonde and you're intelligent, assertive, forward thinking and doing, and can carry a conversation without giggling like an idiot, then great.

If not ... piss off.

That's why I hate most blondes. They make the ''stereotype'' of dumb blonde. They can't string a sentence together without giggling, and they certainly can't carry a conversation. They ''act dumb''. If it's acting! Hell, they could be like that from birth. With the inane inability to speak and act like a human being.

If you blondes want to be treated seriously, then stop acting like morons. Stop giggling, stop flirting, stop being an idiot. Speak and act like you actually have a brain in your head, and an idea of what you're talking about. And for those other ''famous blondes'' ie: Kylie Minogue, Natalie Bassingthwaighte, Nicole Kidman (I know, she's a natural redhead, but she's been blonde for years), and any others out there that I can't be bothered thinking of, everytime a reporter asks you a question you don't want to answer, instead of giggling like an infected twit, please, please, just say ''no comment''. Or even, ''I'm not discussing that.''

That's all you have to do, not act like a moronic, ''I'm just so blonde and living up to the stereotype'' piece of rotting dog crap, that sits there with an even bigger dickhead look on your face that REALLY shows us there's absolutely not one miniscule piece of brain in your empty bubble head.

Hell, even Barbie has a million and one careers, so that bubble head is sooooo much smarter than the real life ones.

And I love Barbie. At least she was also a brunette and a redhead!

Well, that's enough about bubble headed blondes. While my gorgeously gorgeous husband is working, I'm off to spend a raunchy weekend with my hot Italian lover Carmine. And I can't wait to run my horny little fingers through the golden brown nest of hair on his very manly, muscly chest.

Love Jewels
xxoo

I love Larry Emdur!!!!!!

Oh me oh my, what a wonderful day, what a wonderful week. Yes it is.

Why? you ask.

Because .... Larry is on Sunrise!!!!!

Yes folks, that's right, Larry Emdur is co-hosting Sunrise with Mel. How deliciously wonderful. I love Larry. I wish he was hosting Sunrise every morning. And the Morning Show! Every day, of every week, of every year. Mel and Larry should host Sunrise, then the Morning Show together. I hate the Kock, I hate Kylie Gillies. They are two of the most sarcastic, critical, insulting people on morning tv, and I hate them!!!!!!!

Larry is so much nicer. He's polite, sweet, great to talk to and listen to. And Mel rarely gets insultive or sarcastic, unless it's from a dumb - arse comment of David's.

But I just wish they would stop having stupidly blond guests on. This morning on Sunrise, they had the editor of Shop till you Drop on talking about the Golden Globes, and the fashions that the chic's were wearing. Who the fuck told her she knew what the hell she was talking about. She couldn't put two words together and had absolutely nothing to say about anyone. She laughed and giggled her way through the measly two minutes the guests get, and pretty much told us nothing, except that she's the typical dumb blond she shows us she is.

Then there was The View on channel nine. Again, Barbra, what the hell are you on????? You act like a moron for your age of what, 145. You are old Barbra, but please, please, act your fucking age!!!!!

And then the others get on my nerves too. They had some woman on who had written a book they didn't like, and when she came out for the interview, they basically castrated her. And she had balls, let me tell you. Don't know her name, but she stood her ground and got in as many backhanders as she could. One of them would ask her a question and before she answered, someone else jumped in with a question, then somone else, and before you knew it, it was a yelling match with the hosts, instead of a civilised interview with an author. It was absolute bedlam, and basically nothing but bullshit. All the View got, was me turning off for Oprah, which was a repeat, channel ten you suck! but at least Dr. Oz was on again, and Oprah didn't interuppt as much.

Ughhhhhh!!!!!!!, morning tv, daytime tv, night time tv, it all sucks over summer.

And there are days, like today, that I feel like sticking my hand through the tv screen and beating the absolute shit out of everyone on stage.

I know, it wouldn't help the tv, cause it would be broken.

No, it would help them because they actually wouldn't get the shit beaten out of them.

And no, it wouldn't help me any cause I'd have a busted hand. And that would pretty much make me useless. Which sucks.

And we'd need a new tv.

Well, it looks like this post is going to be a short one today, maybe I need to keep them short, maybe I need to make them longer. Who knows, who cares. Ooops, better go, my gorgeously gorgeous husband just pulled into the driveway and he's got some .... oh .... my!

I seriously can't help myself, I must kill the Kock for his sexual innuendos!!!!!

Well, here we are, my third post for the first year of my first blog EVER! And I think it's going well, don't you?

And, I have more bitching to do.

David bloody Kock. You just can't help yourself can you.

I know I keep going on about this dickhead but considering that the after 9 morning shows aren't back yet, it's the 6-9 shows I've only got to bitch about.

Sexual innuendos!

Yep, always out of David's mouth. Regardless of who's on, the innuendos are there. Last Thursday, the 15th, Kylie decided to wear, what I thought was God awful, a slim dress with a deep vneck. It revealed things I didn't care to see, but at least they weren't completely hanging out. What am I talking about?

Kylie's breasts.

Yep, that's right. And of course there had to be comments from all the boys, thank God Andrew O'Keefe wasn't there otherwise the shit would not have stopped. About 8:30am, David mentioned how people had been emailing in about Kylie's dress.

She said something along the lines of, ''I don't think so," and then David decided to throw to the news headlines with the INCREDIBLY stupid line of, ''keeping abreast of the news.''

HELLLOOOOOO!!!!

Are you SUCH a dickwank that you DON'T think we'll know what the hell you're talking about. The utter crap out of your mouth David is beyond belief. You need to keep it shut or someone someday is going to shut it for you.

Morning tv has children watching, DAVID. You don't throw around dumb arse comments like that when you know damn well that they are innapropriate for morning viewing. Not to mention, the fact that being a woman, I completely HATE YOU!!!! You are ONE OF the biggest wankers on tv. And you need to go.

And that's not the only thing he made a comment about.

Half an hour earlier, when talking about a poll Sunrise was conducting about do you like Vegemite, there was 89 % for yes, 11 % for no. And David's reply to those that voted no - ''those people shouldn't have phones.''

Who the God damn hell do you think you are? I have sat in my lounge room for many a year watching the morning shows, and for a long time preferred Sunrise over Today. Mainly because I couldn't stand Jessica Rowe cause she laughed like a man. But this last year or two, my preference has gone back to Today, as I have a bit of a crush on Karl, and don't like Lisa, but at least they don't try so hard. Yes there are sexual innuendos on Today as well, and Cameron can be a knob, but at least the guys aren't trying to be 30 years younger than what they are. David, you are a try-hard. You only got that job because way back when Chris Reason was hosting with Mel, he got sick with cancer and couldn't do it anymore. Before that, you were just the ''finance guy''. Maybe you should go back to being the ''finance guy'' because it seems not too many people like you!

And I'll lead the pack!!!

And then of course the sexual crap had to continue Friday, but I'm not going to bore you. Someone has to stand up to all these dickheads on tv and tell them to stop their crap because we don't want to hear it, and we don't think you're funny Andrew O'Keefe!!!!!!!! God help us, he's back this weekend.

Moving on, I saw The View this week, and I know we may be behind a week or so, but I have got to bitch about Barbra Walters. How old is she?????? I think she's in her 70's, more like hitting 80, but she thinks she's at least 30. Seriously Barbra, you're not. I sat there, watching channel 9, just gaping at the tv going, ''what the hell is wrong with her????'' She acted like a fruitcake!!!! Carrying on like a moron, an idiot, an imbecile, and any other word you can think of. She interrupted the guest, talked all over him, didn't let him reply properly, and generally embarrassed herself, once she had embarrassed everyone else that is. She acted like an absolute idiot, and yet complains about the way Rosie ODonnell acted when she was on. Now she IS an idiot, and I can't stand Rosie, but Barbra is ''supposed'' to be a mature, well educated, world traveller of a woman. All she acted like was a bloody moron of an idiot. Shame on you Barbra. Shame on you!!!!!

Look peoples, there's so much more to go on with, but that's for another day as my gorgeous husband is calling. So I'll leave you with a cutie pie pic of my secret lover, CSI New York's, Carmine Giovinazzo, and suggest you go listen to Aus's singing sexpots, Human Nature.

Love Jewels.
xxoo

The tv stations are STILL pissing me off, and other stuff!

Hello my darlings, and welcome back to Bitchfest!

I,Jewels, have more stuff to bitch about on this Tuesday the 6th of Jan, in this fine new year of 2009. So much has happened since last time I posted .... well, not really, but there's some interesting things I have to say.

First of all, the networks are still pissing me off! Now for this year, ALL the networks, well, mainly the big three of 7, 9, and 10,are once again, copying each other with their program ideas.

Are you freakin' kidding me!

When are the dickhead programming directors/network heads going to stop their copycatism and come up with something new. All I see, year in year out, is 7, 9, and 10, doing ''THEIR'' versions of each other's shows. And they have THE GALL, to say it's new!
It ain't new you dickwanks, it's a copy of the other network! When the hell are you all going to come up with something on your own, an original idea, an ACTUAL NEW SHOW, that we can all say, ''oh my God, that's so new and fantastic!''

Apparently never!

No Siree Bob, the networks have absolutely NO FREAKIN' IDEA on how to come up with something new on their own. Even last night's South Park was a piss take of how Cartman, dressed as a robot to annoy Butters, was grabbed by the network to come up with new show ideas because those dickwanks couldn't do it.

Either way, THE NETWORKS SUCK!!!!!!!

In our dear old TV Week late last year, there was a poll to see what was the worst thing the networks do that we all hate. Wellll, I noticed that ALL the things mentioned had been BIG PAINS IN MY ARSE all year. And for many years. Because that's all they do. Put a show on, take it off, axe it, kill it, murder it, and then say it's because '''the ratings weren't very good.''

Well, how the fuck would you know!

You don't come to our houses and ask us. You don't send a poll out for us to fill in and send back. You don't know SHIT about what the viewing public want because you don't ask us. Thousands of people complain to TV Week, the local papers, magazines, etc, etc, about how they are annoyed, disgruntled and pissed off with you dumb-arse networks doing what you do. We've all had enough. ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!! We are so freakin' sick to death of what you do, that we don't want you any more.

Channel 7 is doing a ''current affairs'' show to go opposite channel 9's, 60 Minutes. Channel 9 is doing a Sunday ''Today'' show to battle it out with channel 7's, Sunday Sunrise. All the networks have vet shows, rescue shows, blitz shows, garden shows, morning shows, a current affairs shows.

When the fucking hell is it going to stop. STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP!

You have no freakin idea of what we watch, what we get into, what we like. Taking a show off after one episode is hardly giving the public a chance to get to like it. You are ALL A BUNCH OF DICKWANKS! AND YOU NEED TO BE FIRED SO A WOMAN CAN COME IN AND DO THE JOB YOU ABSOLUTELY SUCK AT!!!!!!!

So that's today's slagfest at the channels.

Now .... about Sunrise. I STILL don't like David Kock, and he made a stupid remark this morning about Jim drinking his tea with his little finger up. When Jim made a remark, he was told off. WHAT A JOKE. David can get away with sexist, idiotic, stupid, brainless, bimbo remarks, and no one says anything to him. But if anyone else dares to say something, oh no, they're just NOT ALLOWED.

Then there's Kylie Gillies. I hate her on the Morning Show, now I have to see her on Sunrise. Get rid of the cow, I can't stand her. Although I have noticed that she dare not take on anyone on set verbally, for fear of being attacked, but she gets away with sarcastically insulting Larry on a daily basis. The bitch needs to go. Poor Larry, having to sit there next to her day in day out, just for the sake of a job. I wouldn't put up with her. I'd smack her and tell her to piss off back under the rock she crawled out from. Who the fuck does she think she is having a go at Larry for being Larry.

I love Larry, just like I love Big Dave Reyne. The cows those poor, poor, poor guys work with need to be taken out and strung and quartered for the dumb-arse comments they make. They obviously have issues they need to deal with. Well bitches, take your shit somewhere else, cause this gal don't wanna hear it, or see it. And I'll smack ya down and bitch slap ya back to last week. Hell, last year even. Seriously, channel 7, when you get rid of the programming director, get rid of Kylie while you're at it.

Here's another bitch that I need to have. I got myself a copy of the Sunday Mail from Adelaide.There on page 94, in Elisa Black's two page spread, was a story about Amber Petty. Now for those that don't know, she's Princess Mary's bestie, does the breakfast show on SAFM in Adelaide, and did Celebrity Survivor ... don't ask how many years ago that was. Anyhoo, apparently, in Feb's FHM mag, there's a story called ''Crying on the Inside'', with the subtitle of ''on the outside they're successful and happy. Inside? A bottomless pit of misery.''

Amber was included along with Peter Andre, not sure why he'd be miserable married to big tits, The Wiggles, huh?!?! and Hilary Clinton, who, being married to Bill, should be miserable. The mag described her as ''the bestie of Tasmanian real estate agent Crown Princess Mary of Denmark, the one who didn't marry a prince in a lavish ceremony. But she is the one who'll do anything for publicity.'' The mag also had a go at her posing nude, appearing on Celeb Survivor and dubbing herself ''Adelaide's Demi Moore.''

Now that I had to laugh at. I've seen Amber. I've heard Amber, ain't the internet wonderful for listening in on other state's radio shows, and let me tell you. There ain't no way in hell she's anybody's Demi Moore! When contacted by the paper, she stated, ''I can only think they aren't so much about doing their research as they are at slagging people off.''

SLAGGING PEOPLE OFF!!!!!! Wait, what! But you're the classic example of a stupid bitch slagging people off Amber. I've heard you. I've seen you. Or have you forgotten about the story on one of the current affairs shows last year, where you and other ''I think I'm famous'' females sat around a desk and SLAGGED PEOPLE OFF. YOU were the one doing the slagging, YOU were the one that canned Miranda Kerr because she is naturally thin, and gorgeous to boot I'll add. YOU were the only one swearing in a tv interview. SHAME, SHAME, SHAME!

And you should be ashamed Amber Petty. Bianca and Sam didn't swear, the other girls didn't swear, only you did. Then you had the gall to write your ''supposed column in the Adelaide Advertiser and slag off at Gordon Ramsey for all of his swearing.'' That's definitely calling the big fat liar of a kettle black! You hypocritical bitch Amber. And you wonder why your life ain't that great! I KNOW you don't write your own column. After hearing the stupid, idiotic so incredibly bimboish shit that comes out of your mouth, there's no way in hell you write that column yourself. It would be edited to within an inch of its life and more than likely re-written by someone at the paper. For all the ''intelligent stuff'' that gets printed, there's no way it's you. Petty by name, Petty by nature!

One last bitch before I go. Last night on A Current Affair, and also in the paper, there was a story on how size 16's were the happiest.

AH, NUH UH, NO WAY, YOU MUST BE LIEING.

I KNOW that big girls aren't happy. All you have to do is look at all the overweight celebs who claim to be happy, but then you see them losing weight or getting their stomach stapled. And you DON'T do either of them unless you are UNHAPPY! And let me tell you this, coming from a chic who's been at either end, I'm not happy being fat. Having too much weight on your skeleton causes pain in all joints and muscles. Especially if you have scoliosis (curvature of the spine). My spine can kill me up and down, and it's now affecting my hip joints and knees. I'm a 12 -16, depending on which store you go into, and the stupid sizeing method is a bitch I will get into another day, but when you have extra weight, you have pain.

As for the girls in the story, they're lucky, they're not old enough to feel the burden of weight on bones and muscles. But having big tits is a definite pain in the neck for any gal, size 16 or not. And you CANNOT go with out a bra to haul those big fat puppies up and over your shoulders when you slog around all day for work or play. So for all those gals with extra weight, size 16 or bigger. Don't try and kid us, you ain't happy being fat, cause in the end, you all try and lose weight. And when you're young, you won't know the pain until your 30's, or when you finally get told that your weight is bearing down on your body and destroying it from the inside out. Cause it will, I'm proof of that.

I've vented my feelings for today, now, I'll leave you to get ready for my date with my incredibly gorgeous husband. Michael Weatherly don't ya know. Don't you just love this pic. I do!

Love, Jewels.
xxoo

Bitching the Year Away!!!!!

Hello all, and welcome to Bitchfest!!!!!!

I, your ever loving leader, Jewels Diva, you can call me Jewels, am here to help you bitch and whinge your way through life. Are you sick of celebrities, tv stars, radio announcers? I am, that's why Bitchfest is here. And I will lead you on a merry whinge about said celebrities, stars, pains in the arse, blah, blah, blah. So if you've had enough of the people on our humble screens and radios, stay right where you are and follow me on my journey through 2009. But for right now, here's my retrospect on the year that was, 2008!

Well, what a New Years, I would have posted this sooner, but my gorgeous husband, Michael Weatherly, decided we should spend the day in bed ..... and I'm so glad we did. Look at all the fun we had when he started a pillow fight!!!!He does have a great arse, doesn't he?

Anyhoo, 2008 has been quite a year, but I'll only go over the stuff I don't give a crap about.

First of all, I'll go over what our dear old tv stations went on with this year. Like all other years, they put shows on, took shows off, put them back on again, screwed around with the timeslots, changed nights, stopped, started, whinged, whined. They think we don't care, HELL!!!!, they don't care that we do care, they just go about their merry screwed up way of pissing us viewers off, time and time again. Day in, day out, week after week, month after month, year after year. It's all the same, it's still the same. The stations don't care what they do and will not change.

Our fav tv shows start, then disappear, we complain to TV Week, they still don't care. We complain to the stations, they really don't give a fat rats backside that they piss us off! It's always the same, and nothing happens.

I gotta say though, even though the American writer's strike screwed a lot up, it was ironic that the stations suffered for it. ''Oh, we've got all new shows starting, coming this year,'' they said. Then BAM!!!!, the strike took them all away. LMAO. That taught them!

But alas ... it didn't. Once the strike was over, the tv stations started crapping on about ''fast - tracking'' That's where they bring us our fav shows only days after they air in America. It was great. Even I'll admit that, but come November, off the shows came again.

God Damn it! You stations seriously piss me and everyone else off. ''The shows will be back in February,'' they placate, trying to make us believe they do give a fat rats. But guess what? You'd started the series off, then told us they were the final eps when it finished. They weren't the final episodes, you dickwanks, you just cut the seasons short! You crap on about bringing us these great shows by fast-tracking, then you take them away from us just for the stinkin' christmas holidays!

And that's another thing, WE ALL HATE THE SUMMER PROGRAMMING SCHEDULES!!! THEY SUCK!!!!!

We DON'T want to keep watching the same crap over summer. Or even the damn cricket. I HATE CRICKET!!!!!! I don't want to watch cricket, it's one of the most boring sports there is!!!!! BLECH!!!!!

That is my main gripe with Australia. Yes folks, that's where I am. Of course there are others, but I'll get into them as the year goes on. I do have some current gripes though, like the New Years Eve fireworks, that were on tv.

Firstly, channel Ten. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING LETTING ANDREW G AND KIM WATKINS HOST!!! Did anyone else who watched it think it's time Andrew got himself a decent hairstyle? Seriously, what the hell are you thinking Andrew, you're married now, what the hell is your wife thinking, letting you go out in public with hair like that? I would have preferred to watch your Aus Idol partner James. At least he's amusing to watch.

And dear old Kim. You're not funny! And your dress was awful.

Talking about dressess, what the hell were Jess Mauboy and Nat Bassingthwaighte thinking, wearing ridiculously short and stupid outfits we could all see up, thanks to the cameramen constantly going up and taking footage of your crotches? Any female performer needs to think about whether their outfits are appropriate for tv viewing. I DON'T CARE to see whether you're wearing undies or not. I DON'T CARE to cop an eyeful when you're on stage. Stop looking like skanks, and start looking like women!

As for channel 9 - they had no fireworks :( and channel 7, who the hell were those people???????? A guy I've never seen, and a fake blond with an incredibly stunned mullet/bambi caught in the headlight look on her fake face. And the brunette, no idea who she was, but she's what you'd call a violet crumble (that's a chocolate bar for those that don't know) You know, brunette on the outside, blonde on the inside. Where the HELL do these networks find these females. Or the males for that matter? Some of them are the biggest dickwanks you've ever seen, and yet some people think they're funny.

God knows why, cause I don't!

So, being the second day of 2009, I shall talk about more current things.

Paris Hilton! No, I'm not a fan, I just don't understand why people are complaining about the money she's dropping when she shops. WHY???? She makes her own money, unlike you idiots that think Granddaddy Hilton gave her squillions, he didn't. She was lucky to get 2 mill, if that. She has to make her own money, and if she chooses to come here for New Years and drop a bundle .... damn well good on her. I think all those complaining are just jealous of the fact she has the money to spend without blinking an eye. I wish I did, and I would drop it without blinking. It must be nice to walk into a store and buy something without looking at the price tag, and worrying about how to pay for it or where you can get it on sale, or even secondhand. HELL! I'll help her spend her money, and help out the Aussie economy along the way. Because that's what she's doing, helping our economy. So to all those that have a problem with Paris spending up big in our dear old country, I say .... shove it up your arse!!!!!!!

Now, about our ..... tv presenters. Dear, dear, dear ..... they just have no idea. On channel 7, we have a morning show from 6 till 9 called Sunrise. Now, one of our presenters is named David Kock, oops, I mean Koch. On Jan 1, they crossed to all the states and spoke to people about each states fireworks displays, and the kind of crowds they got the night before. Well, they crossed to Adelaide, in South Australia, and David went on about what a fantastic place Adelaide is, especially where the fireworks were down at the river Torrens.

Now, David is originally from Adelaide, but rarely goes back, and yet he has this inane way of going on about how great it is. I've been there, it ain't! It's the most boring, mundane, boring, plain, boring, shit of a hole there is. It's the arse end of the country. Literally! And the minister they spoke to, stated there was 50 000 people there New Years Eve. I managed to get myself a copy of the Adelaide paper, and there was only 30 000. Considering South Aus only has 1.5 million people, and most of them leave and don't come back, I'm surprised the minister got it so wrong. Unless, it was wishful thinking, and they really want the rest of the world to believe Adelaide is better than it is. It isn't!!!

Something else happened on Sunrise, that annoyed me greatly. They had Dadichi on talking about the coming year for our starsigns. They completely glossed over at least half of the starsigns, Taurus, Leo, Libra, Scorpio, Sag, just because they, the hosts, weren't those starsigns. Now that sucks for those people watching that were, I for one did not care which starsigns the hosts were, and only wanted to know about mine, but alas, as David claimed, they were running out of time and had to rush. Yeah, not through YOUR starsign David. YOU got to hear about yours.

Seriously, if these shows don't have the time to talk to people, don't bother having them on! It just pisses me off when I don't get to hear, or find out about, stuff that is important to me. They all say, ''it will be up on the website for you to read'' I DON'T WANT TO JUMP ONLINE TO GO TO YOUR WEBSITE DAVID. I DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOUR WEBSITE DAVID. I WANT TO FIND OUT WHILE I'M WATCHING SO I DON'T WASTE MY TIME GOING TO YOUR WEBSITE DAVID!!!!!!

And then of course we have the summer series of 9am with David and Kim. They may be repeats, but God honestly, I don't care for Kim ripping into David for being in the Chantoozies. Every opportunity, she has her sarcastic digs at his mullet, his drumming, the very fact he was in a band.

And exactly what were you doing in the 80's Kim?????? Hmmmm?????

We also have a show call 20 to 1, and they showed fav songs one week, and low and behold, there was the Chantoozies. Wellllll, there was David Reyne, on drums, a bit of a mullet, and this sly, sexy ''I know you want me'' look on his face. I liked the Chantoozies, they had great songs, and Big Dave looked H-O-T, HOTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

He still does, and quite frankly Kim, you need to shut the hell up and leave David alone, I wasn't the only one to like the group and I'm sure I'm not the only one now to like David, and still think he's a bit of a spunk rat. So I repeat, what were you doing in the 80's Kim????

So, I think I'm about near the end of my first post, and yet there's so much more to bitch about. Take a look at my sidebar and have a look around at all the candy I love, especially the guys. My Mikey, Carmie, Human Nature, which reminds me, if you don't know them already ... get to! They just did a show on NYE, at the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas, and I can't wait to see what it's like. But just for now ..... I'll leave you with Australia's Singing Sexpots!So for now, I bid you goodbye, and I'll talk to you again real soon,
Love Jewels
xxxooo