As long as I'm not having surgery or sick as a dog as I have been!!!!
I have decided that my peeps need more of me in 2010, and I need more peeps to follow me, so I'm going to have some sort of goody for you on a daily basis, starting with, of course, a good old bitch from JEWELS DIVA of BITCHFEST!
Mondays - a good old bitch.
Tuesdays - My Fav Things.
Wednesdays - some lighthearted comic relief with Lolcats and dogs.
Thursdays - Quote of the week, so if you have some, send them my way via my email ad - firstname.lastname@example.org and I'll include them with your name and blog / website. But be prepared, mine can be down right filthy dirty!
Fridays - my weekly tv review AND another BITCH from BITCHFEST!!!!!
I'm such an eager beaver, I wrote a tonne of bitches, fav things and quotes yesterday just so I've got them all sorted and backed up ready to go to the point they'll last me for a good six months! So all of that will go according to plan unless something happens that I just have to absolutely bitch about on another day!
And then of course I'll be taking the weekends off for rest, relaxation and sex with my gorgeously gorgeous husband and Italian stallion lover. And some shopping on ebay and what not!
But for now, enjoy this bitch.
For those that have gone back over my posts coz you've seen names you know or things you like, you'll remember some of my early posts about models, Jennifer Hawkins, Megan Gale etc.
I LOVE Megan Gale, she is gorgeous to boot and who the hell wouldn't mind looking like her. Sadly, Jewels does not, but in the vain hope of doing so, I must grow taller by many inches and thinner by many pound/kilos/stones, and become a dark haired beauty pretty much over night.
SO NOT HAPPENING!
So, here's another bitch about Jennifer Hawkins. The long ago before pic below was when she was a cheerleader for a rugby team her in Aus.
Plain and boring right?
She's what I call a B.B.B.
Or boringly bland blonde!
She so clearly slides into her daily bath filled with litres of fake tan to match her fake blonde hair to match her fake blonde makeup. To the point where she's so boringly bland that she fades into whatever beige background she's standing in front of.
Of course she's not the only B.B.B to look this way. Many Do.
Jennifer Anniston, Lara Bingle, Natalie Bassingthwaighte etc.
But my whole bitch is that she has appeared on the cover of Marie Claire magazine here in Aus. The editor, Jackie Frank, has labeled her the body we should strive to achieve. Or some such nonsense!
That whole issue in the magazine can be read here.
Bianca Dye, a radio announcer and part time red carpet go-er, stripped nude for Madison magazine last year, showing her lumps and bumps.
She was on the Today show this morning, having her opinion on the Marie Claire issue and telling everyone that Jennifer may look great and be a nice girl (not in my opinion) but that her body is not the norm and not what most of us look like, or can achieve.
Bianca's story, plus others can be read here.
True, there's a minor percentage of women in the world that are that anorexic looking, (if your bones are poking through your skin, you are), and if you enjoy being that thin, bully for you. But the MAJORITY of the world's women look NOTHING LIKE HER.
I sure as hell don't. I'm not thin, though I should lose the weight I gained over xmas, but in my case I need to keep my weight down because of my scoliosis (curved spine) and nerve problems (due to scoliosis). I'm not fake tanned, I have discovered that I turn yellow and not cream or brown, and I'm not hair free, mainly coz there's no way in hell I'm gonna wax every last ounce of hair from my moley body.
That's at least 800 moles, spots and freckles to you!
I'm not a fan of Jennifer. I never have been and never will be. I don't like her, and if you need reasons, here they are.
1 - she wears her hair parted in the middle and hangs her head to hide behind it.
Only 5 year old girls do that.
2 - she's fake!
3 - she sounds like a man when she talks, like a lot of other blondes she giggles too much, can't speak seriously and acts like a typical moron when having a conversation.
The point is, we as a whole look nothing like her. I don't want to. And for a magazine to claim she's what we should all look like to be healthy and fit is bullshit.
Magazines are the first people to tell us how thin we should be, how to diet, look thinner, wear spanx, how to dress,how to put makeup on, how to get a man, keep a man, please a man, look 50 years younger, act 30 years older and generally buy their magazine so they stay in business.
Magazine editors talk out their arse and thankfully I DO NOT buy Marie Claire.
There's no way in hell I will ever want to look, be, talk, walk, dress or be boringly bland like Jennifer Hawkins.
Because there's no way in hell I ever could.
Magazine editors need to grow up and pull their collective heads out of their collective arses and grow a collective brain. The world does not look how you want it to. And it never will.
a very curvy Jewels xxoo