JUST PUTTING IT OUT THERE:OUR END OF MONTH CATCHUP!

Okay peeps, well it's the last day of February and while the winner of the Literary competition I entered will be announced today, alas, it will not be me.

I found out I didn't even make the short list last week.

It sucks, but I must go on.

So this month I went over my list of publishers and agents, I have about 10 of each, so I'll be sending to all the publishers this week.

I bought manilla envelopes and wrote ''thank you for reading, Jewels Diva'' with a little star in red on the cover. Bought prepaid envelopes to load them into when each partial m.s is printed and have them ready to go. And they got paid with the money I won on lotto and a scratchie!

I'm still Facebooking and Tweeting Ellen Degeneres every day to get her to join the JUST PUTTING IT OUT THERE group.

I Tweeted Max Markson, a well known celeb agent to see if he dealt with unpubbed authors, he said to email him so I did, and now I'm just waiting for a reply.

I emailed a couple of magazines and newspapers about getting a column in there mags and papers. Apparently you already have to be a celeb and ''they'' ask you to write for them.

I changed my blog to look like a website with new pages for you all to check out. And Cyn (cyn-b-demented) has been helping me with it. No need to switch to wordpress just yet. I also set up a youtube channel for future videos. Just to make sure I got my name!

I also write in my journal everyday and try and look at my affirmation folder. Apparently my stars for this year all lead to success, celebrity and luck. And some very hot lovin with a very hot new lover!!!!! Mmmmm ...... Scott Pape maybe?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So I'm trying to remain positive and tomorrow I'll post new positive karmic imprints being the 1st of March!

So what did all of you do this month to help you achieve your dreams?

Jewels xxoo

BULLSHIT spam emails from weirdos!!!!

Okay peeps, it seems that I keep getting spam in my email inbox, mainly from overseas arseholes who think I'll give them my banking details so they can deposit the money their rich old daddy has so he don't lose it all, and I only gots two words for ya!!!

FUCK OFF!!!!!!!

However, I did receive this email as well and I have no idea who it's from or what they want .... well.... I can guess, but since I left her email add, feel free to beseige her with emails, or pass her details on to any lesbian friends you might have!!!

"jane weah" jane3weah@yahoo.com

To:
jewelsd@ymail.com

How are you today, I hope all is well with you. I am sorry for your concern with my Proposal for a relationship with you, but I know that it will grant my request in good faith and understanding, my name is Jane relationship with you, I would like to know more, you can send an email to my email address jane3weah@yahoo.com . SO I can send you more details about myself picture.I Including me believe we can move from here. But bear in mind that Love has no colors barrier, no educational back ground barrier, no socio-economic Barrier, religious, linguistic, the nationality or distance barrier, the only important thing is love. I waiting for your mail to my email address jane3weah@yahoo.com. With new friend jane.

I have no fucking idea who she is!!!

Jewels xxoo

QUOTE OF THE WEEK!

When did a head job become a blow job?

When men started doing them!

LOL CATS WEDNESDAY!!!!!

My Favourite Things: SLAGGING OFF THE PRIME MINISTER OF AUSTRALIA!!!! Rose Bay traffic sign stops traffic to declare: Kevin Rudd sucks!!!!!!

TRAFFIC stopper ...

An illuminated traffic sign is amusing eastern suburbs residents heading towards the city on New South Head Road, Rose Bay, with the words Kevin Rudd Sucks on display. (Picture: Bill Hearne Source: The Daily Telegraph)

POLICE are baffled how they did it but the Prime Minister definitely has a problem in Rose Bay - with a large illuminated traffic sign sending the message: "Kevin Rudd sucks". The sign, which dramatically appeared overnight on New South Head Road, has proven a traffic stopper. Locals have been stopping their cars to take photographs - and the sign caused such a distraction that the police were called in at 3am today. Working hard to preserve the Prime Minister's honour, the dedicated police officers took to the power box powering the sign with bolt cutters to turn off the lights.

I found this so pissin hilarious because I completely agree. And a VERY BIG CONGRATS to the person who did it!!!!!

HE DOES SUCK!!!!!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

And if you've read some previous posts, you'll know how I feel about him!

Jewels xxoo

My Favourite Things: Doctor Who's The End of Time!!!!! The last time we'll see David Tennant!!!!!!

Well the Tenth Doctor has made his last exit.

David Tennant has left the series after his run to be replaced by a guy younger than himself.

It's a real pity, although I didn't watch the show when it was picked up and reinvented 5 years back, and I didn't watch it when David took over, I started watching bits and pieces when Catherine Tate joined.

And while I can't stand her, I got hooked on David. Watched every ep and movie that's been on since, even repeats of David's first season.

So it's sad, and I cried through most of the second part, that while the show goes on, David does not. The End of Time was a two parter that ended with the old Doctor being rejuventated into the new Doctor, and David's, last words as the Doctor were, ''I don't want to leave.''

Well David, we don't want you to either, but I guess it's time for you to move on. And so must we.

DAVID TENNANT IS THE BEST DOCTOR WHO EVER!!!!!!!!

Dream Stealers can PISS OFF!!!!!

I'm bitching about dream stealers today.

People like Dr.Phil who says it's great to strive for your dreams and follow your path etc, but then tell you that marrying Jay-Z or George Clooney or Michael Weatherly is nothing but an unrealistic dream that will never happen!

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!

Okay, so I know that I'm only married to Michael in the world of Jewels that I have created, (you didn't think that was for real did ya!!!) but how many times do we read stories of big stars, mainly the guys, meeting and marrying waitresses or check out chicks etc.

Nicolas Cage married a waitress. The little asian lady who bore his son called Cal-el. Nic's a Superman nut.

Matt Damon met a bar waitress and married her even though she already had a kid and now they have three more.

George Clooney meets waitresses in Europe, moves them to America, dates them for three years, then pays them to go off and start a life coz he doesn't want them anymore.

And of course, in ''real life'', my gorgeously gorgeous husband Michael Weatherly, married a med student who is now a doctor.

I am insanely jealous of course and don't like the idea of sharing him, but then Carmine has to share me with Michael so it works out.

Back to dream stealers.

They steal our dreams and smash them into the ground, grinding them into a little heap of dust, similar to what women do to men, and then try and rebuild them to suit their needs and not ours.

Dr.Phil is forvever telling people ''good for you for having this dream and it's so great that you're doing that. BUT you need to do this, this and this. And you should be doing that, that and that.''

EXCUSE ME!!!!

WHOSE DREAMS ARE THESE!!!!!

I HATE people telling me what to do. Especially those who don't know me. But don't try and steal my dreams people.

It will piss me off and I will slap you down.

DO NOT TELL ME I can be anything I want to be, have anything I want to have, go anywhere I want to go and say anything I want to say, okay, that last one is crap, coz no one tells you that, but still, don't tell me I can have the world and then yank the damn thing out from under me by telling me the dreams I do have are unrealistic!!!

My dreams of being married to Michael are not unrealistic. But I do need to accept the fact it may never happen in ''real life''. But that doesn't mean I can't dream and have a hell of a lotta fun doing it, and strive to make it come true. I would have to move to L.A and kill his ''real life'' wife but that seems rather unrealistic in it's self. And I don't have the money to do it, and don't want to go to jail for doing it, so it will have to wait a few years until they divorce. Coz he's SOOOOOOO not happy with her.

So to all the ''experts'' and just plain arseholes we may know out there who think they know how our life should be and tell us how to live it even if it doesn't make us happy just because they're not happy with their lot in life and are a misery guts

PISS OFF AND STOP STEALING MY DREAMS!!!!!

Jewels xxoo

What is the difference between an opinion and a judgement?

My Macquarie Dictionary, albeit from 1981, has the following definitions.

Opinion:
1 - judgement or belief resting on grounds insufficient to produce certainty.
2 - a personal view, attitude, or estimation: public opinion.
3 - the expression of the personal view, estimation or judgement: to give an opinion on tariffs.
4 - a formal or professional judgement, expresses especially in law: counsel's opinion.
5 - a judgement or estimate of a person or thing with respect to character, merit etc.
6 - a favourable estimate; esteem.

Opinionated:
- obstinate or conceited with regard to one's opinions; conceitedly dogmatic.

Dogmatic:
1 - pertaining to, or of the nature of a dogma or dogmas; doctrinal.
2 - asserting opinions in an authoritative, positive, or arrogant manner; positive, opinionated.

Dogma:
1 - a system of principles or tenets, as of a church.
2 - a tenet or doctrine authoritatively laid down, as by a church.

Judgement:
1 - the act of judging.
2 - a judicial decision of a cause of law.
3 - ability to judge justly or wisely, especially in matters affecting action, good sense, discretion.
4 - the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion or conclusion as from circumstances presented to the mind.
5 - the opinion formed.
6 - a misfortune regarded as inflicted by divine sentence, as for sin.
7 - the final trial of all mankind, both the living and the dead, at the end of the world

Okay, so what did you get from that?

I got that opinions and judgements are pretty much the same thing. You judge when forming an opinion. So then you are opinionated when giving the opinion. Your opinion is your own thought, feeling, belief, attitude etc.

And if we have them and stand by them we will all go to hell for having them when the world ends.

Pretty simple and easy to understand.

Yeah right!!!!!

a VERY conceitedly opinionated and dogmatic Jewels xxoo

QUOTE OF THE WEEK!

Always carry a pair of handcuffs in your bag. You never know what you'll need them for!

LOL CATS WEDNESDAY!!!!!

CSI NEW YORK'S CARMINE GIOVINAZZO PLAYING GOLF!

Carmine played golf last week for the CBS Pro Am Tournament and the pics are coming to light.

Poor baby, he's so hairy!

But so, so, sooooo sexy!!!!!!

Check out Ceesau for the video of Carmine playing.

My Favourite Things: PURSES!!!!

Hey peeps, last month I posted my fav bags and this month I'm posting my fav purses. These are not all of them, just like I didn't post all of my bags, but the really good ones get a gander here and you get to see my personal addictions!!!

Here we have, down the left side and in the middle, Cardinalis. Cosmetic bags and purses, jewellery rolls, you name it. I also have a Christian Dior black purse in the middle with the little gold chair and bow. On the right is a generic brand toiletry roll and a Fiorelli multi coloured (on the inside) roll up purse. Most of these are being used at the mo, I have sunnies, jewellery etc in them.

Blue Cardinali and Betty Boop coin purse.

I bought these on ebay - heart, clubs, and diamonds. I have the club one in my handbag with my ''first aid'' kit in it.

And I also got these from the same place. Top pic is the front, bottom is the back.

Most of my purses I haven't used yet, but I love things like this, so I end up collecting stuff. I don't smoke or drink so this is what I spend my money on, besides, bags, clothes, shoes, jewellery, accessories etc.

Jewels xxoo

If only reporters would speak ENGLISH!!!!!!!

Way back when, when I was in school or high school, (can't remeber which it was that long ago), I can swear my English teacher taught me that ''an'' only goes before a word starting with a vowel.

An apple, an egg, an orange, an igloo, an unusual object.

Either way, my bitch is that so many tv presenters and hosts over the last few years drop the ''h'' from words and put ''an'' in front of them when they shouldn't.
''An'' orrible (a horrible)

''An'' orrific (a horrific)

EXCUSE ME!!!!

HAVE YOU SINGLE-HANDEDLY CHANGED THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE?????

And I know they put ''an'' in front of more words they believe they can drop the first letter off of, but seriously you have to have some sort of communications, journalism, and english degree to get into the media and reporting.

So I should bloody hope that you all know how to speak ''actual'' english, even though so many of you don't seem to know ''simple'' english and where to put the word ''an'' and how not to drop ''h'' off of words.

Seriously people, SPEAK ENGLISH!!!!!!!

Jewels xxoo

Contestants on tv shows who think crying and begging with their sob story will get them through.

I wasn't sure what to bitch about today but then I heard a woman win money on tv and she blubbered on about how hubby was going into hospital, yada, yada.

Anyhoo, I don'know about you but I AM SICK TO BLOODY DEATH OF SOB STORIES.

I'm sick of people who clearly don't have balls who think begging and bawling with their sob stories are going to get them through to Idol, X Factor, Think you can Dance, and any other reality tv show these days.

I'm sick of people begging and crying and sobbing their eyes out because they DON'T get what they want.

I once heard someone tell a begger, ''stop begging, it's beneath you''.

Great advice!!!!

I don't watch most of these shows merely for the fact too many people stand there and bawl their fucking eyes out. Try having a ''REAL'' problem to cry over.

But for God's sake, shut the fuck up coz I don't want to hear it.

Jewels xxoo

MY WEEKLY TV REVIEW! ALL THE GOOD SHOWS ARE BACK!!!

Well with all the shows starting and some still coming I think I'll be cutting it down to my absolute fav shows on during the week. You all know what I already watch so there's no need to keep repeating the list.

And yes I do watch 7pm Project mainly for my current crush, Scott Pape!!!Meanwhile, lets go with -

Sunday night - Castle - season 2, ep 9, LOVE ME DEAD.

The ADA is murdered and it turns out he was running a call girl racket.

Mmmmmmmmm......Nathon Fillion......mmmmmmm....
Mondays - The Mentalist - season 2, ep 10, THROWING FIRE.

Patrick got hit in the head with a baseball.

OUCH!!!!

He kept having flashbacks to his life a ''psychic wonder kid''.

Baseball dad killed the baseball scout in his zen garden!
Channel 10 has my gorgeously gorgeous husband's show - NCIS - season seven - ep 8, POWER DOWN.

All the lights got turned off in Washington and the boys and girls had to use ''old'' stuff to solve the crime.

Gibbs dragged out his ''old'' camera and McGee was facinated.

Tony (while interviewing the supposed boss of the dead woman) - ''he was a man, a male man.''

Gibbs - book em Dan...ozzo!

My hubby wasn't happy he got stuck with all the paperwork after the power went down!
Wednesday - Ciminal Minds - season 5 - ep 8 - OUTFOXED

Families being killed then buried in the garden.

ewww.

Hotch and Emily go to see a serial killer in jail to help them figure out who's currently killing army families while the father's are away. He also has a present for Hotch!
Thursday - CSI New York - season 5, ep 19, COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN.

Asian dude killed a guy on a train by shooting at his daughters boyfriend.

Baby was none to happy when I told him I could see his bald spot!!!
Electro gizmo used for computer generated autopsies.

Louie, Clamenza, Alfonse.

Hawkes - ''what are you doing, going through the entire Godfather character list.''

Danny - ''they're names of my family members.'''

Hawkes - ''my parents took six weeks to give me a name.''

Danny - ''your parents took six weeks to name you Sheldon?''

Amos Daniel Messer!!!

I thought we all knew it was a girl? Or was it just hinted at?

Kurt!

Flack speaks Irish!!!

Danny (about Adam) - ''our little bearded friend from the tech republic!!!''

Danny's foot hit the trolley - boy has bad timing!!!

Flack and Angell - international relations!!!!!

Baby girl! I'll say again, didn't we already know!!!!!

Anyhoo, New York won't be on for about three weeks as the network is showing the dumb arse Winter Olympics.

BOOOOOOO

Jewels xxoo

on a quick note, is it Danial, or Daniel? I guess it's where you come from, but for me spelling it Danial looks more like denial.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK!

Cleo magazine had an article last year titled - MEN, SEX & YOU.....and all those akward complications inbetween. So I'm stealing the story to give to you.

The story was - ''Being single has plenty of joys, namely eating chocolate brownie icecream for dinner without disapproving looks etc. But the most annoying things are when well meaning people constantly stick their noses into your personal business. No one feels the need to ask coupled-up women why they're still together with their beau, so why is it perfectly fine to ask single girls why they're still alone? While it may come from a place of love (Jewels here - I disagree), it can be frustrating as heck.''

So they put together a list of the best snarky comebacks to the most maddening questions solo girls have to put up with.

Question - why aren't you married yet?
Answer - I'd rather be happily single that unhappily married!

Question - I bet you're just too fussy!
Answer - Indeed!!!! I'm sure the answer to all my problems is to lower my standards and go out with a loser!!!

Question - How long have you been single for now?
Answer - Still not long enough to find that question any less irritating!!!

Question - Don't worry, you probably just haven't met the right man yet!
Answer - Don't you worry. I'm having plenty of fun looking!

Question - You won't find someone until you stop looking!
Answer - Perhaps I should get two red hot pokers and shove them into my eyes, shall I? That will surely make me so much more attractive to the menfolk.

Question - I'm sure men are just intimidated by your success / beauty / intelligence / biting wit.
Answer - Obviously this is my fault for being too good! I'm always turning down guys for being too successful, hot, smart and funny.

So that's my quotes for this week, copy and paste them so you can use them in the future on your snarky, intrusive rellies!

Jewels xxoo

LOL CATS WEDNESDAY!!!!!