Periods, Pain, The Pill and why some dumb arses still think it's all about sex and birth control!

Yes that's right.

Some dumb arses still think if their child goes on the pill, also known as birth control, then that's EXACTLY why they want it.

I highly doubt it.

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!

If you're child is going to have sex, they ain't thinking about birth control of ANY kind, that means no pill, no condoms, and that's the one thing they NEED to be worrying about.

Most girls will not get on the pill before having sex, they JUST DO IT.

Go you Nike ad!

The whole point of this post is talking about period pain, menstrual cycle hell, that monthly visitor that wreaks havoc on your digestive system, skin, stomach etc,etc,

You girls know what I mean.

Scoman.....well, you may, or may not, so you're excused from this post if you don't feel comfortable.

It's been my week from hell this week. Although technically I only started on Wednesday, and it will go until Monday/Tuesday ish.

Maybe it has something to do with going to the chiro on Wednesday as well. Apparently I was having a muscle spasm in my right side hip area, and that's where my pain is.

The pain I told y'all about last year which is why I had my laparoscopy to find out what was wrong. And although there's technically nothing wrong, there's still pain on Wednesdays and Thursdays of my cycle. Story is here.

Even my gynie was surprised when I told him it was like clockwork.

But this week the pain sucks.

And that was why, all those years ago, I went on the pill at 18.

I'd had my cycle since 11, and I used to go home during the day so I could change. The school would ring mum, she'd come and get me, take me home, I'd change then she'd take me back.

The kids in the class soon figured something was going on, and I think I was the first to have it. And that was year 6!

Year 7 was not much better. Everyone in the grade knew, even the boys.

Dear God!!!!!!!

And then high school was just as bad with me ending up in the sick room with a hot water bottle on my stomach. The pain was so intense I couldn't walk. And I had started carrying pads in my bag "just in case".

Those years sucked. The pain was horrendous, the timing was never normal, and I was living in hell.

So I finally went on the pill and hallelujah the pain subsided, and they became regular.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 7 FUCKING YEARS!!!!!

But the last few years I've had probs, so I don't know if it will ever be gone or not.

But the point is people JUST BECAUSE YOUR CHILD WANTS TO GO ON THE PILL DON'T AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME IT'S FOR BIRTH CONTROL, IT COULD BE FOR PERIOD PAIN!!!!

But nooooooo, parents have their head up their arses when it comes to teaching their kids about sex. They don't want to do it and don't want the teachers at school to do it so they leave their kids flailing around in the sea of periods, sex, and unwanted pregnancy. And THEN they wonder how their kids got pregnant and blah, blah, FUCKING BLAH!!!!

Dear fucking nit wit parent,

if your child comes to you and says their periods hurt and want to go on the pill to fix it, talk to them. Don't automatically ASSUME they want it for birth control and it's coz they're going to have sex. It's NOT ALL ABOUT SEX YOU KNOW. The pill for regulating menstrual pain is incredibly valid and worthwhile.

STOP FUCKING ASSUMING IT'S ALL ABOUT SEX.

STOP FUCKING ASSUMING YOUR KIDS ARE HAVING SEX.

STOP FUCKING ASSUMING YOU'VE ACTUALLY GOT A BRAIN IN YOUR HEAD BECAUSE YOU DON'T.

STOP FUCKING ASSUMING YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE WORLD AND WHAT GOES ON IN IT BECAUSE YOU DON'T.

AND STOP FUCKING ASSUMING THAT THE PILL WILL STOP YOUR KIDS GETTING PREGNANT IF THEY TAKE IT. IT WON'T.

Dear fucking nit wit parent,

please pull your head out of your arse, grow a brain and get over yourself. THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU, HAVING SEX, OR EVEN THINKING ABOUT HAVING SEX COZ BELIEVE ME, THE PILL WILL NOT STOP YOUR KIDS HAVING SEX.

EDUCATION WILL STOP YOUR KIDS HAVING SEX. AND BEING NEUTERED WILL STOP THEM GETTING PREGNANT!

See, going on the pill is not such a big deal.

glad to be on the pill for half of my lifetime, Jewels xxoo

QUOTE OF THE WEEK!

Don't lend money, clothes or your car to other people. They'll spend it, ruin it and smash it, then give it back.

LOL CATS WEDNESDAY!!!!!

My Favourite Things: HOT NAKED MEN!!!!!

That sooooo got your attention didn't it!!!!

That's right, I LOVE NAKED MEN!!!!

Well....half naked anyway but yous knows what's goings through your dirty filthy minds when yous ares perving at these pics of just a few of the hot naked men in the world.

I think I'm drunk.

DRUNK ON HOT NAKED MEN!

YEEEEHHAAAA

I'M ON A FRICKEN HORSE, ER, MAN, ER, HUSBAND, FUCK, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

RIDE EM HARD BABY!

My gorgeouly gorgeous husband, NCIS star Michael Weatherly.

My Italian Stallion lovah CSI New York star Carmine Giovinazzo.

My hot new sizzlingly sexy scruffy stud muffin play toy, The Bill star Dominic Power.

Magnum PI. Helloooo!!!!

Aussie Hugh Jackman!

The man I want my man to be, the Old Spice Guy, Isaiah Mustafa.

Ah Jake Gyllenhaal, be still my beating heart.

Another Aussie, Moonlight and The Backup Plan star, Alex O'loughlin.

Hellooooo Gerard Butler.

And A Team star, Bradley Cooper.

Cds and their booklets. What the hell is wrong with the record companies?

I wasn't sure what I was going to post about today. I had a variety of topics but after buying shitloads of cds yesterday on my shopping spree, I decided to post about them.

But not in the usual way.

I'm talking about the slack arse people at the record company who either have really bad english skills, or they hire people who have really bad english skills.

What am I talking about?

The cd booklet!!!!

That's right.

The cd booklet where english seems to be a second language.

Adam Lambert's "For Your Entertainment" was one that I bought, and upon going through the booklet to read the lyrics, I came across the details for who wrote what and where they are, or where it was mixed etc.

Apparently, Sweden, is spelt with 2 Es.

Did you know that?

That's right, Sweden, is spelt Sweeden.

WHAT.THE.FUCK!

And on top of that.....the lyrics are wrong.

Well it's not like it's the first time.

Kelly Clarkson's "All I Ever Wanted" has the same problem. So do many others that I have.

But in this day and age, you would think the record company might do spellcheck before printing the damn booklet up.

That they might ACTUALLY find out what the real lyrics are.

Now that could be either the singer taking some leeway and singing what they wanted, or that the typist for the lyrics didn't read them properly.

Either way, the record company has a serious problem. Sure cds aren't selling as much as downloads, and sure, some stores are no longer selling cds like they used to.

BUT STILL....

Why can't a record company get an editor to spellcheck the insde of the booklet? They get a photographer and/or graphic artist to do the cover/inside/back shots, so why the hell are lyrics and spelling not as important?

I would ACTUALLY like to get the lyrics right when I'm singing along to the song thanks very much!

Jewels xxoo

Fucking sick: Donkey made to parasail.

The donkey had been examined by a veterinarian, who found that her half-hour flight over heads of holidaymakers last week did not inflict any physical damage, regional spokesman Igor Zhelyabin said. 'The veterinarian has come to a conclusion that the animal is clinically healthy,' he said. The donkey's mental state, however, remained unclear.

Animal rights activists, who condemned the stunt as cruel, have said the animal must have been very distressed by the flight as well as a rough landing on the water.

Pictures broadcast on state television showed the donkey taken high into the sky by the stunt, frantically swinging its legs in panic as the speedboat circled around the water. Zhelyabin said a decision on whether to open a criminal animal cruelty case would be made on Friday.

The owner of the donkey, who lives in the nearby town of Temryuk, however, has told the authorities he does not see anything wrong in forcing his donkey to fly because the beachgoers 'were having fun', Zhelyabin said.

Dina Goncharova, another local police spokeswoman, said police had confirmed that the donkey was a female.

How is THAT even the fucking point!!!!!

What does it matter that it was a female donkey and that it wasn't hurt during the stunt.

THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT!!!!

THE POINT IS....IT'S FUCKING SICK!!!!!

Jewels xxoo

Australia's going to an election and the tv ads have started. GOD HELP US ALL!

Well, a few weeks ago I told you about how our then Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd was back stabbed by the ranga bitch who is now our current Prime Minister, Julia Gillard.

Since there was an election due this year anyway, last weekend she called a day for it.

August 21.

The problem is, the election ads started the minute she declared it.

AND I'VE ALREADY HAD A GUTFUL.

At the sign of the first ad on Monday I'd had enough. I hate the bitch and most of Australia can't stand her for the way she back stabbed Kevin.

Anyhoo, we're all hoping she loses in August.

But for your entertainment, here are some videos that have been made to spoof the election.

Radio station Triple M put this one together of the Labor Party's Julia Gillard containing her current favourite phrase, Moving Forward.


　
And then the Workers Union put this one together of the Liberal Party and it's leader, Tony Abbott. At least ads like these add hilarity to the whole thing!
　

LOL CATS WEDNESDAY!!!!!

My Favourite Things: OLD SPICE ADS. I'M ON A FRICKEN HORSE!!!!!

I LOVE THESE FREAKIN ADS!!!!!!

But wait, there's more.....

Okay, so we all know the original Old Spice ad as shown here -



Well now there's the follow on from that -



And now the guy's started doing piss take replies from people via Twitter and Facebook -





　


　
Well now other people are doing piss takes too. I saw this ad on the Today show here in Aus this morning and tracked it down on youtube. A round of applause people - "I'M ON A CART, YEHAAAA!!!!

People who run over their children. YOU FUCKING KNOBS!!!

That's right, you read right.

People who run over their children.

Last night on our 60 Minutes, was the story of a rugby player who ran over his son. I wasn't able to embed the video but if you click here, you can watch the video and read the transcript.

Anyhoo, the dad packed the two older kids into the car and started backing out, only to run over his youngest son, Sam, a 16 month old toddler.

Here's part of the interview -

REPORTER, TARA BROWN: Brendan was on his way to the shops and put his two older kids in the car. He thought Sam was with Fiona in the backyard.

BRENDAN CANNON: He was just playing in little Phoebe's little dollhouse and then sort of climbing up the slide and coming back down and going round in circles.

TARA BROWN: How long did it take Sam to get from the dollhouse to the car? How long was he out of your sight?

BRENDAN CANNON: It was maybe... not even, you know, maybe a minute, not even a minute. He was just there, I could hear the noise in the background...

TARA BROWN: In that tiny amount of time, Sam made his way to the car just as Brendan was backing out of the driveway. Even though he has a reverse camera he didn't see his little boy until it was too late.

BRENDAN CANNON: I walked to the front of the car and came round, and poor little Sam was basically down between... just in front of the back tyre

TARA BROWN: Sam had chosen the worst time to run into Brendan's blind spot.

Two problems I have with this part of the interview -

1 - He doesn't know how long Sam was out of sight. Even though he was supposed to be in the backyard with his mother, she clearly wasn't looking after him either.

2 - Reporter, Tara Brown's words - Sam had chosen the worst time to run into Brendan's blind spot.

Ah....EXCUSE ME!!!!!

First of all, parents need to watch their children at ALL FUCKING TIMES and should never ASSUME THEIR CHILDREN ARE WHERE THEY LEFT THEM.

And second, Tara Brown, Sam is 16 months old and didn't CHOOSE to run behind the fucking car for the fun of it. He doesn't know it's wrong to run behind cars, he doesn't know what consequences are going to come of it.

FUCKING HELL!!!!!

Parents who don't watch their children absolutely shit me!!!!

Watch your fucking child for fuck's sake so you don't run over them. It doesn't take much to make sure your child is inside, or has been picked up by someone, or is ACTUALLY in the backyard where they're upposed to be.

IT DOESN'T TAKE MUCH TO SAY WHERE IS SO-AND-SO AND MAKE SURE THEY ARE NOT BEHIND THE FUCKING CAR WHEN YOU BACK OUT.

Don't blame the child, don't blame having no camera in the car, don't blame anything, or anyone else except yourself.

I feel sorry for all the kids that get injured or killed due to irresponsible parents. IT SHITS ME UP THE WALL over their lack of brain and caring for their child.

You know what people, IF YOU CAN'T LOOK AFTER YOUR KID, THEN YOU EITHER SHOULDN'T HAVE THEM OR SHOULD HAVE THEM TAKEN OFF YOU COZ YOU CLEARLY CANNOT LOOK AFTER THEM.

Jewels xxoo

Dancing at Auschwitz. WHY THE FUCK SHOULDN'T HE!

So there's been a big furore this week over this video of a family dancing at Auschwitz.




It seems that it's disrespectful to all the millions who died, and to all those who lived.

But there's the irony.

Why?

Because the old man dancing in the video survived Auschwitz and that's his family.

He said why shouldn't he dance, it's a celebration that he survived.

But the Jewish community wanted to rain on his dancing parade.

Look!!!

How he wants to celebrate surviving is NO ONE'S FUCKING DAMN BUSINESS!!!!

A psychiatrist once said to me, "if you don't stop living in the past, you won't have a future."

Well Jews??????????

You gonna keep living in the past????????

It happened decades ago, and yes it was horrible and it sucked. But if you survived, move on. Stop wallowing in your own self pity and go out an live life.

AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TELL SOME OLD GUY HE CAN'T DANCE TO CELEBRATE HIS LIFE.

He has EVERY RIGHT to do what he wants and if you don't like it SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE HIM ALONE. HE DOESN'T LIVE BY YOUR RULES AND LAWS. HE LIVES BY HIS OWN AND WILL DO WHAT HE FUCKING WELL WANTS.

Jewels xxoo

QUOTE OF THE WEEK! - MEL GIBSON STOP BEING A FUCKING NUTTER!!!!

Quote of the week -

MEL GIBSON YOU FUCKING NUTTER....I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE NOT AUSTRALIAN!!!!

That's right, HE'S NOT AUSTRALIAN!!!!

HE'S AMERICAN!!!!!

AND YOU CAN FUCKING KEEP HIM!!!!!!!!

As we all know, the last couple of weeks have had that trashy gold digging tramp Oksana illegally releasing audio tapes she made to an online trash site. Now a court judge told her weeks ago they could not be released but "somehow" they've managed to be "leaked" to the press for the world to hear.

Today #4 has been released, but I want to talk about yesterday's #3 tape that came out.

On that tape her voice is VERY clear, and she actually says "WHAT DID HE JUST SAY". Not "what did you just say".

Oh no, she wasn't talking to Mel, she was talking to SOMEONE ELSE!!!!

So that CLEARLY means someone was there with her and to me it says she was setting him up and egging him on. Which she was by what she was saying.

Later, it was claimed she had a microphone in her diamond earring.

WHAT.THE.FUCK!!!!!

How much of a set up is that if you have a mic in your earring.

SNEAKY BITCH!!!

But it also leads me to freedom of speech.

Apparently we just can't say what we want anymore.

Everyone's going on about the crap he spouts in those tapes, but what happened to freedom of speech.

Don't we all have the right to say what we want in this world.

Apparently not.

Does that mean we're going to have to stop having our opinion and no longer have the right to broadcast our thoughts on the web?

Who knows, I might leave that for another day but in the meantime MEL GIBSON STOP BEING A FUCKING NUTTER!!!!!!

Jewels xxoo

LOL CATS WEDNESDAY!!!!!

My Favourite Things: JUSTIN BIEBER!!!!! what a little fucker......wait....what the fuck am I thinking!!!!!

Yes that's right, he IS a little fucker!!!!

He's a 40 year old in a 16 year old body that looks like it's 12. He hits on women twice his age who he REALLY doesn't stand a chance with and comes off as a horny little boy who wants to plant his dick in something before it shrivels up and falls off.

Not that his dick would be that big anyway.

But anyhoo.....I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!!

Jennifer Aniston - the bitch has done it again!

I know, small pic, but it's the latest magazine trash doing the rounds this week.

Apparently the mags are now making up stories about her stealing some Aussie woman's man.

But in reality, is she EVEN DATING any of these men the mags have been linked to????

Week after week, it's Jen's new man, Jen back with Brad, Brad walks out on Ange, Ange has had enough, Jen's stealing so and so, Ange is screwing someone else.

I mean seriously people, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!

I hate Jennifer Aniston.

I don't care who her father is (John Aniston from soapie Days of our Dreary), I don't care what show made her famous.

I'VE HAD A FUCKING GUTFUL OF JENNIFER ANISTON!!!!!

Jennifer Aniston can piss off and kill herself I really don't give a shit!

Jewels xxoo

MEMORY LOSS......wait.....fuck, what was this post about again?????

That's right.

MEMORY LOSS!!!!

When you can't remember what day it is when you wake up in the morning.

Or when you wake up and can't remember if you actually put the bin out for collection and panic coz you hear the garbo coming round the corner and you can only vaguely remember taking it as far as the gate but did you ACTUALLY open the gate and put the bin at the curb.

Or when you're thinking about something and go to put the milk in the cupboard and the plate in the fridge.

Or when you can't even remember what the fuck you did 5 minutes ago.......

What DID I do 5 minutes ago???????????????

MEMORY LOSS.

Not just for the old, alzheimer ridden, decrepit individual who's aging badly.

It's for all of us.

Sure, we might put it down to trying to remember too much. We have work, kids, partners, partying, friends, shopping, perving, eating etc to do, and so we might think it's normal, coz apparently the brain does automatically forget things that aren't important so we have the space and capacity to remember tthe things that are.

BUT STILL!!!!

When you're under 60 it's REALLY BAD that you can't even remember what you would consider the simplest things.......

FUCK......

What was this post about again????

Jewels xxoo

QUOTE OF THE WEEK! - and that leads to dumb arse people who get themselves into debt.

Quote of the week -

IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOURSELF INTO DEBT, THEN FUCKING WELL GET YOURSELF OUT COZ IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

Yes that's right, why expect someone else to get you out of the debt you stupidly got yourself into.

YOU'RE the one who booked up the credit card. YOU'RE the one who spent all your money on take out and holidays. YOU'RE the one who lived high on the hog and thought the money would never run out.

And then the debt collectors start calling.

Well morons, they wouldn't call if you hadn't racked up all that debt.

Below is an ad for the Aussie company "My Budget".

Apart from the fact the owner, Tammy May, has an irritating voice, the look the girl gives when the phone rings is even more stupid.



And if tv was interactive, I'd stick my fist through the screen and punch her out.

The point of these ads is for Tammy May and her company to help people get out of the debt they got themselves into.

HOWEVER!!!!

You still have to pay Tammy May!!!

So really, you're paying someone to sort out the debt you got yourself into and then you'll still owe them and what's the point really when you can pull your head out of your arse and sort your own debt out by cutting up the credit cards, cutting back on take out, cigarettes, alcohol, giving the kids whatever the hell they want because they whinge etc, etc, etc.

The only reason you'd have to fear a phone call from a debt collector is because you're the moron who got yourself into debt on the first place.

Wake up and smell the new credit card peeps!!!!

You're to blame for your own life, no one else.

I still hate that ad!

Jewels xxoo

LOL CATS WEDNESDAY!!!!!