Friday, August 29, 2014

Jealousy. An infantile response fostered by Gen Ys

Ah Jealousy! That green eyed monster we all remember from our teens and twenties. That painful ripping of the heart when we saw the boy we really liked with the girl we really hated. That tearing of our arteries when the girl we hated got better grades than us. The slicing and dicing of our veins when someone came to school or work with really expensive shoes or clothes we couldn't afford and desperately wanted.

God, being young sucks, doesn't it?

Time moves on, we get older, and jealousy is left behind. Well for me anyway. I have not felt the pangs of jealousy since my 20s but sadly, Gen Ys have bought it back with a vengeance.

Sadly, whenever someone says anything about the way a person is dressed or what they had, where they went, or what they did, they are accused of being jealous.

Now that I am forty, I agree wholeheartedly that it is nothing but an infantile response to normal human being things known as questions and comments.

These days on social media you cannot even GO NEAR commenting that you don't like something for fear of being labelled as jealous. And when looking at those doing the accusing, it's always Gen Ys and some vague Xers.

But can we really blame Gen Ys? They are still, sadly, going through late puberty in their 20s as they struggle their way through life and learning how the world works. That it's okay to say you don't like something. That it's okay to not agree with someone. That it's okay to have an opinion that is not the same as someone else's.

Sadly, and I keep using that word because it is sad, so many Gen Ys automatically believe that when someone doesn't like something it must be down to jealousy.

So when I say I don't like a dress someone is wearing, it must be because I'm jealous of the person. Yet I didn't mention the person, I mentioned the dress. But to a Gen Y it must be personal because a person is wearing the dress that I mentioned. And sadly, this is where Gen Ys lack understanding and comprehension.

Learn to listen and truly understand what someone is saying. Talking about an article of clothing does not make me jealous. It means I am talking about a piece of fabric that has no brain, no feelings, no nothing.

If I say I'm sick of seeing the same picture of your living room simply because you added a few flowers or rearranged your coffee table, it's not because I'm jealous, it's because I'm bored with seeing the same picture week in, week out. There is a difference between being bored and being jealous, but poor Gen Ys cannot comprehend such things.

When you look at a Facebook page there will be 90% of people who will actually comment on the subject or question broached, and the remaining 10% will be people shitting on those commenting. However, take note of what is said, because something I have figured out in the last week is that, while accusing someone of being jealous is an infantile response in 75% of cases, the remaining 25% is more than likely truly based on some jealousy.

I was absolutely trashed on my style blog a few weeks back when a comment popped up on an older post about my cancer scars. This person had commented on three other posts, and you could see an escalation of anger and rage. Although the timing of her comments showed this one was the first she made, and she actually came back the night after to make another comment on another post. I wondered if she had raided my whole blog just to see what was going on.

Stalker much?! She's also raided my social media posts.

The post was about my personal experience and my thoughts on cancer, however, not only did she trash me for those comments, she trashed me for other things as well, which were the other comments that escalated into the one cancer post.

All of these are dumb arse assumptions on her part, as was her assumption about me not knowing what it was like having a tumour removed. My father did 19 years ago.

NEVER ASSUME you know from one photo what is actually going on. In her case she made MANY dumb arse assumptions.

"And by the way, your jewellery & “style” is absolutely horrendous! I am embarrassed FOR you! I have never seen anything as disgusting, cheap & tacky as what’s displayed on your page. You really shouldn’t be using the terms “couture” or “fashion designer” either, you are buying cheap crap online & mashing it up together into a hideous mess, THAT IS NOT COUTURE OR DESIGNING!! There is a reason barely anyone acknowledges your social media posts!
PS: and if you keep eating burgers & chocolates for breakfast, or all that ice cream, or quarter cheesecakes!!!! or hot chips, or packets of chips you’ll end up with more than a few tiny skin cancers!"
What pisses me off most is that morons look at one photo and ASSUME so much. They don't bother reading the comment you leave with it, they don't bother understanding what is actually going on.

No!

Let me tell you why her answers are full of jealousy, anger and hatred. 

Because she made her attack personal. And that is when you can tell there is jealousy going on. When people trash talk you, your clothes, what you buy, what you wear and what you do, jealousy, anger and hatred is going on inside of them. 

And I shake my head at the stupidity of using the fact that if you don't have any likes, replies or comments on posts then people obviously aren't SEEING the post and it must mean you have NO followers, likers, or friends. They don't get that some people don't have that desperate need for likes and approval from others. I don't need likes because anyone who follows me sees it in their feed anyway, and that's enough for me. But for some, it must be their only lifeline of approval..."oh, they all love me because they like my picture"....fucking hell!

I don't give a flying fuck if you don't like what I wear, what I make or what I buy. I DO NOT DRESS for anyone but myself. I DO NOT CONSIDER other people's opinions and thoughts when I get dressed because I dress for myself.

Clearly she was angry that I'm always buying new clothes and jewellery, all on sale mind as I give the prices I pay. Clearly she isn't or cannot buy her own. NOT MY FAULT. Clearly she is full of hatred for people who can buy or make clothes or jewellery. NOT MY FAULT. Clearly jealousy played a part.

She ASSUMED that because I post the ever-so-occasional food pic that that's what I eat all day everyday. She ASSUMED I live on my own hence I must be the only one eating said food. 

She ASSUMED that because I buy a lot of jewellery on ebay, never mind the fact I also buy a lot in store along with my clothes, that I am not a jewellery designer because I "mash" it altogether into a hideous mess. And that I cannot call myself a fashion designer simply because I buy clothes from stores. She clearly hasn't seen the clothes I have made and designed.

She has made big arse assumptions. I liken it to "those who act like they know everything actually know fuck all." 

Never judge a book by its cover, never assume one, or a range of photos tells the complete story. But she did, because her anger and hatred at her own life boiled over into jealousy and so her trash attack became personal.

That is how you tell when real jealousy is involved. When it's personal and trash. The next time someone accuses you of being jealous, ask them how old they are and then tell them to grow a brain and grow the fuck up.


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